A Bengali wedding runs over several days: aashirbaad, aiburobhaat, gaye holud on the wedding morning, the biye at night, bashi biye and bidaai the next day, then boubhat with the groom's family. The bride's family invites guests to the biye and the groom's family to the boubhat. Send invites 3 to 4 weeks ahead and a reminder 2 days before.
Bengali wedding rituals in order
- A week or more beforeAashirbaad (আশীর্বাদ)Elders of each family bless the bride and groom. Close family only.
- 1–2 days beforeAiburobhaat (আইবুড়োভাত)The last meal at home as an unmarried person, cooked with love by family.
- Wedding morningGaye holud (গায়ে হলুদ)Turmeric from the groom's home is applied to the bride. Songs, laughter, close family.
- Wedding morningJol shoha (জল সওয়া)Women of the family fetch water from a pond in a painted pot for the bride's bath.
- Wedding eveningBiye (বিয়ে)Bor jatri arrive, shubho drishti, mala badal, sampradan, saat paak and sindoor daan. The main event.
- Next morningBashi biye and bidaai (বাসি বিয়ে, বিদায়)Morning rituals, then the bride leaves for her new home.
- Arrival at the groom's homeBou boron (বউ বরণ)The new bride steps into a plate of milk and alta before entering, leaving red footprints of Lakshmi.
- Same nightKalratri (কালরাত্রি)The couple stay apart for a night by custom.
- Next dayBoubhat (বৌভাত)The bride serves rice to the groom's family. A dinner reception for guests in the evening.
- Boubhat nightPhoolshojja (ফুলশয্যা)The couple's room is decorated with flowers.
Which invite goes from whom
| Event | Invite sent by | Who's invited |
|---|---|---|
| Aashirbaad | Each family | Close family, by phone |
| Aiburobhaat | Each family | Relatives and neighbours |
| Gaye holud | Bride's family | Close family |
| Biye | Bride's family | Full guest list of the bride's side |
| Boubhat | Groom's family | Full guest list of the groom's side |
The groom's family attend the biye as bor jatri, and the bride's family are invited to the boubhat as guests. That's why most weddings need two separate invites. Wordings for both are in our card writing guide.
Send-by timeline
- 6 weeks before: guest listsEach family makes its own list. Merge contacts into one sheet with names spelled the way they'll appear on the invite.
- 4 weeks before: elders by phoneCall the senior relatives first. A WhatsApp message alone can feel cold to them.
- 3 weeks before: send invitesA personal link to each guest, a video for family groups. Outstation guests need the most notice.
- 1 week before: RSVP checkConfirm numbers with the caterer.
- 2 days before: reminderOne line with the time and the map link.
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Questions people ask
What is the order of Bengali wedding rituals?
Aashirbaad, aiburobhaat, gaye holud on the wedding morning, the biye in the evening, bashi biye and bidaai the next morning, kalratri, then boubhat and phoolshojja.
Who sends the invitation for a Bengali wedding?
The bride's family invites guests to the biye. The groom's family invites guests to the boubhat.
What is boubhat?
Boubhat is the reception held by the groom's family, where the new bride serves rice to the family and guests are invited to dinner.
How early should Bengali wedding invitations be sent?
Three to four weeks before, with elders called first and a reminder two days before.
